I know I know, I've been a really naughty girl and not stuck to my promise. BUT i do have a good excuse for not writing...no the dog didn't eat my homework..i jolly well got myself a job at last. Actually, not a great excuse as it's only 4 hours a day BUT its a slight deviation away from my blog, isn't it?!
Lets go back a few weeks (cue blurry,wiggly flashback type screen) My mother and brother in law are here from UK and as nice as it is to see them, it's also a delicious excuse not to have to worry about where I'm at because it's more important I'm around for them.
As many of my friends and rellies know, I'm quite a good procrastinator, hubby says I'm the best he's ever met, so at least I don't have to brush up on this skill. The overseas visitors allowed me to put my skill into full swing, problem is they were here for a month, I'd swung off into the universe somewhere,never to be seen again....
That was until I got a bank statement. Not so fun anymore being unemployed and losing my mojo in my quest for my passion. Enough silliness.
And then fate (or pity) smiled at me. I was contacted on a nannying website where Id put an ad months before hand. That day I had got my butt over to the house, smiled a lot and landed myself a great little afternoon job, with great people and great pay.
The 20 hours a week has been a godsend. Not only does it pay the bills but it allows me to have a morning concentrating on other things in my eternal quest for fulfillment.
I made another promise to myself that I would not use this time to stroll around, sipping coffees at the local cafe but I would get up every morning and write.
I made myself have a meeting with a friend of a friend of a friend and got some valuable contacts in the online mag world. She told me I'd talked to her at just the right time as they were looking for new freelancers. I grabbed the opportunity to get back into the writing industry again and dug out every piece of published work I'd done and sent a selection along with a letter to all 10 producers in the company.
And after a day I was commissioned by a men's mag for an Anzac day special. The brief looked easy on paper and maybe would have been years ago but I was terrified. I wasn't feeling it. I was overwhelmingly frustrated by my lack of speed and the inability to find the words and different tones I needed. When finished and in, I asked if there was anything else I could do for them, to which I got a swift, "no fine thanks". Right OK. Bubble bursting.
Just at that time another mag decided to give me a shot and i prayed to god, this dude didn't sit next to the last editor who would swiftly give me the thumbs down. But, so far so good. Two articles for the 2nd mag were sent in today after working through the night on them and no negative feedback yet. And I should know, I'm checking my inbox with one eye open every 5 mins.
I'm hoping I will improve to a stage where I can truly decide if writing could be my vocation.
I didn't realise just how shaken my confidence had become. I've known all along that I'm not the worlds bravest, go getting social bunny of the 21st century but whether it was the degradation of my last job or the months without work, I've realised just how unsure i am of EVERYTHING in my world. To the point where I was actually worrying about whether I could fold the kids clothes properly or give them the right balance of food groups every night for dinner. I question everything I do and everything I don't.
Hopefully being published again will give me some validation about continuing on that path or not. And whats great is that I don't have the added pressure of writing to pay my bills, I'm writing to see if I can awaken my mojo....
Lets go back a few weeks (cue blurry,wiggly flashback type screen) My mother and brother in law are here from UK and as nice as it is to see them, it's also a delicious excuse not to have to worry about where I'm at because it's more important I'm around for them.
As many of my friends and rellies know, I'm quite a good procrastinator, hubby says I'm the best he's ever met, so at least I don't have to brush up on this skill. The overseas visitors allowed me to put my skill into full swing, problem is they were here for a month, I'd swung off into the universe somewhere,never to be seen again....
That was until I got a bank statement. Not so fun anymore being unemployed and losing my mojo in my quest for my passion. Enough silliness.
And then fate (or pity) smiled at me. I was contacted on a nannying website where Id put an ad months before hand. That day I had got my butt over to the house, smiled a lot and landed myself a great little afternoon job, with great people and great pay.
The 20 hours a week has been a godsend. Not only does it pay the bills but it allows me to have a morning concentrating on other things in my eternal quest for fulfillment.
I made another promise to myself that I would not use this time to stroll around, sipping coffees at the local cafe but I would get up every morning and write.
I made myself have a meeting with a friend of a friend of a friend and got some valuable contacts in the online mag world. She told me I'd talked to her at just the right time as they were looking for new freelancers. I grabbed the opportunity to get back into the writing industry again and dug out every piece of published work I'd done and sent a selection along with a letter to all 10 producers in the company.
And after a day I was commissioned by a men's mag for an Anzac day special. The brief looked easy on paper and maybe would have been years ago but I was terrified. I wasn't feeling it. I was overwhelmingly frustrated by my lack of speed and the inability to find the words and different tones I needed. When finished and in, I asked if there was anything else I could do for them, to which I got a swift, "no fine thanks". Right OK. Bubble bursting.
Just at that time another mag decided to give me a shot and i prayed to god, this dude didn't sit next to the last editor who would swiftly give me the thumbs down. But, so far so good. Two articles for the 2nd mag were sent in today after working through the night on them and no negative feedback yet. And I should know, I'm checking my inbox with one eye open every 5 mins.
I'm hoping I will improve to a stage where I can truly decide if writing could be my vocation.
I didn't realise just how shaken my confidence had become. I've known all along that I'm not the worlds bravest, go getting social bunny of the 21st century but whether it was the degradation of my last job or the months without work, I've realised just how unsure i am of EVERYTHING in my world. To the point where I was actually worrying about whether I could fold the kids clothes properly or give them the right balance of food groups every night for dinner. I question everything I do and everything I don't.
Hopefully being published again will give me some validation about continuing on that path or not. And whats great is that I don't have the added pressure of writing to pay my bills, I'm writing to see if I can awaken my mojo....
